Gatekeeping Reasonable Discussion
Gatekeeping the issues of mental health, gun control, rape/abuse, cancel culture, in a way such as you can't talk about X because of Y really is antithetical to finding an actual solution to the problems we face today in our culture.
For example, with mental health, "you can't talk about depression or any mental illness if you don't have it"? Well, it begs to question how do we be the best allies to people suffering from mental health problems if we're not allowed to discuss or advocate on one another's behalf? How do you best guide people who need legitimate help, the kind of help that is beyond what a friend can provide? Doctors, Psychologists, Politicians all advocate and help people with these issues and they aren't required to suffer from it. If we lock people out of this issue, when we need help, we'll find everyone remaining silent because that's what they were told to do. Also, you never know who suffers from these types of problems so it's wrong to just blatantly accuse others of being unfit to discuss when you don't know their story.
In gun control, you can't talk about reasonable legislation until X days after a shooting, which occurs daily in our country, so there's never a "good time" to discuss it. You're not allowed to have proper discussion on the issue because one side one budge or compromise in any fashion. Partisan politics and funding from the gun lobby prevents any sort of legitimate CDC government research on gun violence therefore silencing the issue. The issue can't be discussed because of both extremes of "taking my right to own a weapon away" vs. wanting to own a military armory of weapons to "defend your home". We all talk about love and support or "thoughts and prayers" but does it really lead to any resolution of the problems of gun violence? The simple answer is no.
In cancel culture, you can't discuss why we have to ruin people's careers or why we can't try handling these issues privately or in court before going on a public shaming spree. Either you're siding with the abuser/rapist or you're with the victim, the gatekeeping of this issue doesn't allow us to have the difficult conversations about cancel culture and to discuss false claims, times where it may be unwarranted, or even abusive in itself. Nobody wants to take the side of the evildoer, there are legitimate concerns in this issue and all of these that require us to have the difficult conversations.
If you're seeing a recurring trend in all these contentious discussions, then congratulations, you've realized that one of the blockers of having any progress in discussing anything is because of... gatekeeping! We sometimes intentionally and unintentionally prevent conversation on issues because we are constantly saying what can and can't be said, what can and can't be done, and who is allowed to participate, guess what? in the real world, everyone has an opinion and they're all allowed in, even the wildest ones.
So what does all this mean then? Well, none of these are simple topics to discuss, none have any sort of simple right or wrong answer, but ALL require civilized discussion and debate. If we gatekeep these issues, we're only pushing away the possibility of a solution or at least some minor progress in a positive direction. You have to understand the proper context, be able to discuss and understand others within that context, and not be offended when you hear a conflicting opinion to yours. We have to be able to have the discussions needed to solve these problems and you're not going to like everything you hear, but anything can be a solution, even if you don't agree with the best way to get there.
The world has lost the ability to have two people sit calmly in a room and discuss things they don't agree on with candor. The fears of being "cancelled" over your beliefs or being seen as "poltically correct" overwhelm the ability to have the difficult conversations we need to have in society. If you want true progress, if you truly want to help others, it's not going to be easy. You can do this, or you can remain on your high horse, rant about how positive you are, and keep preventing people from discussing things while you remain holier than thou. If you choose the latter, don't be surprised if nothing ever changes and the world remains as hollow as your claims about being all about positivity are.
So what can you do? Be the person to reach out, talk to your friends, help the people around you and LISTEN. Understand what other people need and want, you can't be everyone's champion but every movement starts with a small group. No one is flawless, but you can't simply pick and choose your allies, they choose to help you, so don't cut them off. They will make mistakes but they can be properly educated on how best to be of aid, and if they're willing to learn, they'll be there for you. Be kind to others and speak only when you have something to contribute to the discussion, taking cheap shots at someone's character or going into "whataboutism" doesn't lead us anywhere but backwards. You can disagree with others and still be friends, you don't have to agree on every issue, you can learn to accept others. Our flaws are what make us human, sharing what we love, helping others, exposing our flaws and facing them head on are what leads us to truly accomplishing anything.
I wish you all the best of luck and I hope this leads to a better discussion and not triggered rants back and forth. You can be better, you just have to want to be.
Here with the tough talk,
Aaron
